Imposing random rules on other people's magic

Recently, while perusing the Land of Facebook like ya do, I came across a person asking for help in a group dedicated to witchcraft and paganism. It was quite a situation and a very serious ask involving the safety of a child. Typically, I don't respond to requests for workings or spellwork, but because of the nature of this one, I recommended hiring a reputable Rootworker, supplied a resource name and scrolled away.

Because of the way Facebook is set up, I got notifications each time a person responded to this original post. Upon looking at the thread later in the day, I read a post that had me saying out loud..

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Apparently, according to the responder, this person wasn't to do an ounce of magic until every single last mundane action had been taken, and still they should be really careful and probably not do any magic at all because other people were involved in the situation.

I love an analogy, so I'm going to use one.

One beautiful summer day it starts raining. Maybe you're in Florida. You know how that usually happens on the daily down there. There's an umbrella by the door, however you can't use it according to the Keeper of the Umbrella. At least not yet. First, you have to go change out of the flip flops on your feet and go put on closed toe shoes. 

You do that and return. 

"Shorts?" says the Keeper of the Umbrella. "You have to go put on some pants. Gotta cover those legs because they could get wet."

You change into some warm pants and head back to use the umbrella. 

The Keeper shakes their head. "Hold on. You have a tank top on. You have to put on sweatshirt. Temperature is predicted to drop in his rain storm, you know."

Returning with a sweatshirt on, the Keeper asks where your rain coat is. "Wind is picking up."

You don a raincoat. 

"What about one of those plastic thingies that you put over you head and tie under your chin?" asks the Keeper. 

Finding one of those, you stand within reach of the umbrella wearing your closed toe shoes, pants, a sweatshirt, rain coat, plastic rain hat. "How about that umbrella?" you ask. 

The Keeper rubs their chin, looking you up and down. "Looks like you are dressed pretty well for the storm. Do you think you really need to use that umbrella after all?"

Changing your shoes or tossing on a sweatshirt, aka - doing the mundane work such as filling out the job application when you need a job, or signing up for dating app if you are looking for a new partner, or seeking out legal advice if a child is in danger - is always important. The likelihood of getting that job or date or protection is a lot less likely, or maybe not possible if we don't do the legwork.

However, this idea that we cannot employ magic until the very last t is crossed and i is dotted, to me, is ...

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There are more magical traditions and paths out there than I probably know about. From folk to ceremonial, hoodoo to grimoire, chaos to kitchen witchery and on and on and on. Each one is going to have it's rules or lack thereof, ethics, methods that just might differ depending on who you talk to. But this idea of not using magic until all possible 'mundane' options have been exhausted?

Why?

I think half the issue with many needs for magic is that there wasn't any magic being employed in the first place. If one is constantly doing magic out of a desperate need, or using magic when the shit is hitting the fan, because the shit is often hitting the fan, maybe that's part of the issue.

I'm not advocating for magic and no practical action. I mean, you have to fill out that application and not just sit in your house lighting money candles and making career dream boards. But to not employ magic to enchant a situation right alongside sending the resume? Not do spellwork to ensure protection on a regular basis, or health on a regular basis, or to create a continuous happy home and relationship?

Again, why?

If you aren't doing spellwork, you aren't practicing witchcraft. And if you are acting like the Keeper of the Umbrella over what and how other people work, you really ought to stop. If your ethics require you to exhaust every mundane option first, well... okay. But me? I'm going to slip on those closed toe shoes while I'm holding that umbrella, thank you very much.

On joining covens

In 1999, after I had spent a year reading whatever books on witchcraft and Wicca I could find at the local Borders Books, I went to the newly blossoming interwebs and began the search for a teacher or a group to help me learn. While I have always been able to learn well from books, I liked being in ‘school’, at least when I was studying something I enjoyed. So, if I could find me a witch-school? Uh… yes! Sign me up!

I’ve mentioned the mess of a situation that my first coven was many times in my person-to-person teaching and a couple of times in this blog, such as here. Twenty plus years down the road, I wish that I had had more information on what to look for in my search, in what the red flags were and how a healthy, safe and knowledgeable group functions.

As an ordained High Priestess of an established coven, I often receive inquiries on how a person might join us. While I’ll detail our process below, first I’d like to address some red flags one might come across in their search.

Secrecy –

While there may be certain pieces of information about a coven or tradition concerning the Mysteries and magic that is withheld or told only to initiates, the majority of a group’s practices and traditions should be known to any person considering joining. Whether or not a person is in agreement with or is comfortable with those practices should be decided before any dedication or even initiation occurs.

If a group is all about the secrets or hidden information, my bet is that they actually have no idea what they are doing, and that cloak of ‘it’s an oathbound secret’ is a cover for that cluelessness. Furthermore, if a group leader tries to limit your learning, preventing you from taking additional classes or reading certain books, that’s called control. And that’s a problem. I want all my students to be a better witch than I ever will be. If I haven’t read a certain book or explored an avenue of magic, knowledge, or other information, they by all means can and should if that’s where their interest takes them. When my first ‘HPs’ told me I wasn’t ready to read Italian Witchcraft by Raven Grimassi, I should have clued in that it wasn’t because I wasn’t ready. It was because I was going to learn something she didn’t already know.

Consent-

Consent needs to be front and center. For example, I should be fully aware that a group might expect me to disrobe and do a ritual skyclad. I should know ahead of time that the children’s ritual I thought I was going to was really for adults and that there was a hired babysitter there who I didn’t know and who was going to put on movies too old for my 2 year old (yes, this happened). If I’m working with a group and moving through degrees, and I suddenly discover that I’m expected to have sex with the person in leadership in order to be initiated, imma be pissed.

While I don’t think that initiation needs to or even should involve a literal sexual act between coven leadership and initiate (unless that person is the initiate’s actual partner or spouse), I’m not the witchcraft police. If groups that do offer this are clear from the very start, that’s transparency and consent. Serious bonus points if they offer other options and alternatives for those who chose not to engage in sex for initiation. There are multiple ways to transfer that power and it need not always involve genitals, kids.

So, do not be afraid to ask questions about their practices. If they won’t answer most of those questions, or if you feel something is off… next!

Leadership Issues-

Who’s running this thing? What training, if any, do they have? Do they have a support system in place? While it’s perfectly ok to not have any training and start up a group of people who want to learn and practice together, this should be clear from the get-go. If someone tells you that they or whoever is in leadership of this group has training, that training should be verifiable. It’s been a while since certain people were playing the grandmother card (it was definitely played on me), but these days we could probably find a lot of grandmothers that are legitimately practicing, teaching their families and their students which is awesome! So, I’m not sure what those shady characters are spinning these days, but just check those credentials. Honesty in magical groups, just like in all areas of life, is important. Plus, the job of leadership is as tough as it is rewarding. Training and leadership support go a long way.

On top of that, what kind of person is this leader? While no one’s life is as perfect cake-walk and we all have areas of struggle, for the most part your potential coven leadership should have themselves together. If they are constantly asking people for funds, couch surfing, suffering with active and untreated addictions or mental health issues, if they are erratic, have anger issues, or verbally, physically or sexually abusive to others, they are not in a healthy place to be leading a coven or magical group. Don’t willingly circle with that kind of energy. Run, don’t walk. And while you are running, call out the ones who are sexual predators. No room for that shiz.

Actively Seeking Students or Coveners

(Hold on for a moment while this 80s girl has a Desperately Seeking Susan moment.

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…. … Ok, done.)

I get a twitch when I see this happening. It’s simply not how things should be rolling. Unless someone is offering a class at a shop or other venue and promoting that, there should be zero seeking of students both in-person and online, nor should anyone be actively combing their communities for potential coveners. Students should be seeking out their potential teachers and covens, not the other way around.

In my past, I once had to ask a teacher multiple times to become a student. She made me work for it. In my coven’s history, after a year or more of the same people showing up for rituals, we had an open invite meeting to explore if we wanted to form a coven. As a then Votary (what we term a Priestix in training), those that chose to unify into the Novices – IN coven with me, did so. It was the same pattern that occurred in the first Novices coven in NYC that I was a part of.

If you’ve got training and want to start a coven, start hosting open circles. Do meet and greets. Practice with people.  Have open conversations. Listen. See what happens in an organic fashion. Afterall, your role is that of service, not to be served.

Meeting Members

Here’s another thing that didn’t happen when I joined that first coven. I only met with the HP and HPs. Had I been able to meet the rest of the coven before joining, I would have met the woman who constantly put her hands on me without consent, and maybe my gut would have said ‘nope’.

Meeting the people in the coven is important for multiple reasons because these are the people that you’ll be in magical partnership with. It’s also important that they meet you. It may be the case that not everyone is public about their practices, so confidentiality is a must for all parties. Respecting that, a meet and greet should be in place.

Got Elders?

Are there any elders in this group or their connected communities? If there are, this tells you about established relationships, long term practice, etc. If not elders, are there members that have been involved in the group for a length of time or is there a revolving door or people in and out? While people in my prison circles come and go, as that’s the nature of things in that environment, the current members of my coven have all been there since it’s inception. Of course, people have left since our first unification, but today’s members have all put in over 6 years. Where there are elders there are usually healthy roots. And that’s a place you might want to put some of your roots down, too.

Structure

Coven Agreements, Code of Conduct, By-Laws?

All groups should have these in place and these documents should be in the hands of members and prospective members alike. While Witchcraft and Paganism typically attracts people who aren’t looking for structured paths, we have to have some sort of structure and stability in a working group. A healthy coven, grove, temple should really have these things in order to function as smoothly as possible. Such articles let prospective members know what to expect and gives current members parameters to work within, reminders of why we gather together, ways to approach problems that arise, and more.

And Finally..

This next part shouldn’t have to be said. These days though, we need to be both clear and out front with matters of racism, bigotry, and inclusivity. 

If the coven or working group you are joining has racist, bigoted or anti-LGBTQ+ views, drop that shit like a bad habit and call them out to your community members. Hatefulness to other religions should also not be tolerated. While I have a laundry list of issues with the Catholic Church into which I was baptized as a baby, I keep those issues separate from my Priestess and coven work. Furthermore, badmouthing any other path of Witchcraft, Sorcery, Heathenry, Wicca, ATR, etc. etc. is simply immature, low class and proof you’ve got a long way to go on your path. We have big problems to deal with out there and wasting time arguing about who does what, when and how is a waste of precious time.

This isn’t a one size fits all shawl here. Not every path works for every person. Find yours and don’t talk smack about those who consider themselves something other than what you consider yourself. If the woman beside me at the next festival I attend wants to call herself a Light Worker Witch, rock on, sister. You go with your Light Working Witch self!

How Novices-IN rolls…

Our process of joining our coven, The Stone Chalice and Rising Blade is posted on our Facebook page for transparency. We call this process ‘petitioning’ and the person going through that process is called a Petitioner.

In order for Prospective Petitioners to know if Novices might be the right fit for them, and they for us, we ask that one attends at least 2 public Sabbats. After that, interested parties then contact me to have a first discussion about joining. They then write a Letter of Petitioning which is shared with the coveners.

From there, we arrange an informal meeting with the coven. Here, we sit down and talk about what the Petitioner might be looking for, describe more in depth what we do, expectations we have, allow the Prospective Petitioner to ask questions. Finally, we see if attending coven meetings as a guest feels right for both the coven members and the Prospective Petitioner.

If coveners give clearance, and the Prospective Petitioner wants to proceed, they are then a Petitioner who is invited to attend at least four coven meetings. After this, should the Petitioner want to join the coven, a letter is written requesting admittance (further guidance on details explained for such individuals) and the coven will then make its decision with the guidance of the High Priestess and Sage.

Other covens and magical groups may have a different process, but it’s the process that matters not only for the protection of the coven but especially for the protection of the Petitioner. In Stone Chalice and Rising Blade, we respect our Petitioners enough to have such a process in place and at any time a Petitioner can decide that they do not want to join our coven. In those cases, they are wished well, and the process stops. According to our By-Laws, Petitioners are welcome to join us again for open Sabbats after 6 months have passed.

That’s it, kids! Ask questions, do your research, trust your gut. Ask the community about groups and what they might know about them. If you hear something sketchy, check it out with multiple sources, and don’t forget the actual source.

Oh, and if a group says they want to go back to the old ways, when people did sacrificial blood magic like the ancient days, try not to fall down laughing while you run yourself the hell out of there.