Often, when Yule rolls around I get flashbacks of one of the worst moments I've ever experienced in my Craft life. Actually, I thought about it this year while with my beautiful, awesome and amazing coveners as we sat in circle gathered in front of my tree, candles blazing on the altar...
Yule 1999, Long Island, home of my then "High Priestess":
"Fuck you!" she screamed. "Fuck you!"
The coven sat around her dining room table as she ranted, turning what was supposed to be a lovely day into a complete nightmare all because her husband, mine, and another male covener wanted to check the football score while we hung out pre-ritual. Back then, we were expected to be there most of the day and night, so there was no time crunch.
I still haven't fully forgiven myself for having sat there taking that abuse and letting that abuse happen, but like abused children, the rest of us pulled ourselves together and actually did the ritual. What we really should have done was run. Like Forest Gump kind of run, not listening when the marching band shouted for him to STOP.
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| Best football player Alabama ever had! |
That day ripped through my memory as I said, and it was almost as shocking now as it was then. I don't think my coven fully understands (or maybe even believes) the abuse we suffered at that woman's hands, but I remember it often this time of year. And I value it, because it formed the basis of everything I knew I would never be if I ever found myself in her position.
My High Priestess suggested to me last year sometime to write out my job description and share it with my coveners. She'd done the same in the past while leading that first Novices coven in NYC. I was pretty surprised what I came up with.
Priestess Job Description
Ritual duties
- Planning and executing 4 public and 4 private Sabbat rituals, with ritual teams throughout the year. Assisted by Sage and/or Coven Maiden.
- Coordinating ritual teams. Assisted by Sage and/or Maiden.
- Coordination of ritual planning meetings.
- Planning and executing 10 coven meetings throughout the year providing teaching material and ritual.
- Creating social media invites for all public events.
Support duties
- Being available for individual coven members to assist and support through spiritual matters.
- Being available as a source of knowledge and information, and to help conveners find answers and assistance when I don't I have the knowledge or answers they need.
- i.e. unfamiliar Craft related info, mental health needs, counseling, etc.
- Mediation for conveners if problems arise on an interpersonal basis. Assisted by Sage.
- Consistently checking in with Group Mind to determine coven needs, direction, issues, etc. Protecting said Group Mind and ensuring a safe space for not only coven gatherings, but public ritual gatherings.
- Planning yearly Coven Retreats.
Community Support Duties
- Finding suggested donation recipients for fundraising to help support community needs.
- Past recipients include The Church Within, Fletcher Place, Standing Rock, BLM, Don’t Sleep, Immigrant and Refugee Center, IDOC Pagan prison circles
- Attending wider Pagan and Interfaith outreach events and meetings when available that look to both strengthen community relationships and effectively support change.
Personal Growth
- Continuing Education opportunities for both personal magical growth and knowledge, and coven growth and knowledge.
- Maintaining relationships with upline (HPs) and sister Priestess for support and guidance.
- Being conscientious of the need for non-Priestess personal time.
- Maintaining Dark Time
- Family time
This list is personal to my particular Priestess path. Other members of Pagan, Wiccan groups or other occult clergy may have a very different list. The point of it though is being clear with oneself and those in one's circle, group, coven etc. what that role entails and what it doesn't.
90% of these job responsibilities fall under the service category, as that's how I see my role. My coveners will never find themselves cleaning my house, cooking my food, doing my yard work, or working my business, cleaning the teak on my boat (all things I and others did for that particular coven leader) because they aren't here to serve me. It's the other way around.
Am I perfect? Nope. Who is?
Will I make mistakes here and there? Yep.
Am I going to be the right HPs for everyone? Nope. But guess what? I don't want to be nor do I expect to be. I'm a Capricorn who sets the bar high (mostly for myself), and while I'm serving I'm not looking to be a break-my-back-people-pleaser either.
No coven facilitator can make everyone happy all of the time. We can try, but the Group Mind comes first. The safety of the group, the safety of the space, the spiritual needs of people, the focus of the coven/group and its goals...it all comes first. Having a space that stands upon Love, Trust, Respect and Honesty (those last two there I've learned are seriously key) provides the potential for everyone to be happy and fulfilled. And when they aren't... Hi. There's always a front, back and side door out. Probably a window too.
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| Byeeeee... |
A good Priestess or Priest won't be afraid to guide someone to those openings when necessary, and make those same openings warm and welcome for those to come. Hekate Priestess talkin' 'bout transitions and liminal lines. Shocker.
This role, job, vocation - however you want to describe or label it - isn't easy and its not supposed to be. Yet it can be really rewarding, fulfilling, growth-inducing, skin-toughening, and inspiring.
If you find yourself in a role of a facilitator, Priest or Priestess, make that job description. Refer to it, update and edit it. Delegate! Find assistance and support. Sometimes structure is really helpful even in these magical spaces.
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