For the last eight years, my magical
partner and I have built a shrine at the Starwood Festival. Seven of those
years the shrine was called the Gaia Shrine. There were two incarnations of
Gaia, the first one being a paper mâché sculpture originally built for a Pagan
Pride Day ritual in Indianapolis and the second one was a reimagined version
created out of a fashion mannequin that now lives in my altar room.
In 2023, at
the close of the festival, I made an offering to my goddess Hekate at the
crossroads where we always set up the Shrine. The offering was simple, 4 eggs
covered in honey. However, my ask was big. And it was incredibly important. As
I placed my offering there at the crossroads, after the Shrine had been packed
up and we were ready to make the drive home, I also promised that should She be
able to assist us in the way I asked, next year the Shrine would be solely
dedicated to Her.
She came through. All the way
through! And so, in May of this year, after thinking and planning (and worrying
and doubting myself), I got to work on what would be Her Shrine.
At first, I thought I would create a
small sculpture, or at least smaller than what both the Gaia sculptures had
been. I envisioned her being about 3 feet tall, able to stand on a pillar.
After I constructed the structure of her body and prepared to make her arms and
head, I started getting nervous.
“What if the face looks bad? What
if her arms look weird? Can I even do this?”
These questions echoed in my head
for weeks.
In early June I knew I had to get
moving on this. Starwood is always the second week of July. It was now or
never. And I had made a promise. Putting aside the sculpture, I drove down to
Home Depot and grabbed a supply cart. I marched to the insulation aisle and
picked out a 1.5” panel of 4’ x 8’ pink insulation board. In the parking lot, I
probably looked nuts, hacking the thing down to a size I could fit into my
Jeep! But I did it and got it back home.
Before I was a birth worker, I did
visual merchandising and design. I went to art school for 5 years, and “did
windows” in NYC and various shops on Long Island. In the past, I’ve carved
stacks of fall vegetables for window displays as well as a whole “Egyptian
temple” for a liquor store out of this insulation foam. I knew I could work
with this and felt more comfortable with the medium.
Something I’m not great at drawing is faces. Staring at the
panel, I was unsure of myself again. But then I remembered that I had a
projector! “Just a little help from that would be ok, right?” I asked myself.
The minute I stepped back after tracing her three faces onto
the panel I had painted solid white; I was in love! And most importantly, I was
excited. Now I knew I could really pull this off.
Over the next month, I painted and carved. I carved out every
line I drew to give the panel a bit of texture. There were some mistakes, but I
rolled with them, working them out as I went. There were even cat claw marks
because apparently pink insulation foam feels really good to scratch up
according to my cats! After a few fails, I learned to use an epoxy filler and
fixed spots they left, knowing that maybe they were just little blessings (even
though it was frustrating to deal with).
As she emerged from the panel, I got more and more excited to
share Her with the community I love so much. While I knew everyone always
received Gaia so well, sometimes when we get used to things, we take them for
granted. I was excited to bring them something new.
Finally, after figuring out how to get the flames of Her
torches to light up (because we can’t simply paint them on. They had to light
up!), She was ready for the road trip.
We set out earlier than we did in other years as we had
another covener with us, and I wanted to try to get the Shrine set up the
Tuesday we arrived considering that Wednesday night was our Hekate ritual. I
wanted that set up right across from the ritual site, and I wanted the three of
us rested and ready. The three tents went up easily, we got the panel set up,
and decided that the final touches could be done Wednesday morning.
Then the winds from Hurricane Beryl arrived.
Wednesday morning was an absolute mess. We lost two of the
three tents, including my big 10x20’, and we had to pull everything down.
Everything. I had never been there when it was so windy, and I felt so
defeated. There was no way we could fight that wind and put the Shrine up in
time for it to be there for ritual. Well, maybe we could have, but then the
risk was being exhausted from the work and the heat, and not having the proper
energy for ritual. All rituals require the practitioners to be rested and
ready, and the one we were doing required even more, as we were bringing Hekate
in to speak through a trained Seer in what we call a Trance Prophesy ritual. I
never really know how long those rituals will go either, at least when we
aren’t restricted to a venue rental, because I never know how long the deity
will speak to the group, nor how many people will want to ask a private
question, and so basically, I knew we had to leave the Shrine down and wait. Also,
I had to stay the course and not fall apart. So, I took a deep breath, gave in,
and stopped being upset.
Here's where my real learning started and from here starts
the magic of setting up Her Shrine.
As I walked back and forth through the crossroads, from our Shrine
area to the ritual area, setting things up, I noticed a man standing and simply
waiting. I somehow knew he was waiting for me. We greeted each other and he
started walking with me, asking if I had a moment.
In his hands was a wooden branch, rather straight and about 4
feet in length. He told me it was one of the torches that would light the
bonfire on Saturday night. If you’ve never been to Starwood, you should know
that the Saturday night bonfire is the culmination of the event, and where some
of the most magical experiences of my life have occurred. He asked if I would
be willing to put some energy into the torch and I accepted. I asked him which
torch this was, as each year the torches all have different names.
“This one is called Steadfast.”
I could cry now thinking about it. I almost cried then.
I accepted and asked him what he specifically wanted me to
do, and he said he would lead me on a short, 1-minute guided visualization. I
took the torch and held it, closing my eyes.
“Ground,” he said. “Ground down into the Earth. And now reach
up into the sky. Center yourself.”
I did so.
“Now, turn and face the storm.”
The storm. I thought of the literal storm that had just taken
down my shrine. I thought of the storm of my work as a birth worker, and how
much the abusive maternity system had hurt me and the women I’ve worked with in
the last 17 years. I faced both those storms, and other storms that ran through
my mind, and felt the strength of being calm and steadfast. I felt the strength
of that torch, what just might have been one of her torches, and remembered
that the name I chose 10 years ago upon my Ordination as a Priestess of Hekate
and a High Priestess within the Temple of the Hallowed Gods meant Torchbearer.
I could be steadfast. I could face the storm. And I did. I
am.
The Shrine went up on Thursday, and it was gorgeous. It was
everything I wanted it to be, both for Hekate and for the community. So many
sweet offerings were left through the next few days, and those that weren’t
biodegradable, I took home and plan to keep in a small treasure box that will
follow along any time the Shrine is set up.
One of the big differences I’ve noticed between having a
Shrine for Gaia and a Shrine for Her great granddaughter, Hekate is that this
Shrine seemed to gather devotees as well as people seeking to become devotees.
A bunch of people came to the Shrine to seek my guidance or suggestions in
working with Hekate, and this made me think of some of the vows I took upon my ordination.
Even in the days and weeks after the festival, people have been showing up in
my inboxes and sending messages, looking for guidance. Having participated in
the Covenant of Hekate’s Torchbearer Bootcamp, I’ve been pondering whether or
not I would create a Sanctuary. For a while I was unsure, not even having a
clear picture of what my sanctuary would even focus on. However, in the last
few days, as these things continue to happen, I think Hekate is telling me and
showing me some things in order to help flesh out an idea. And all because I
followed through with a promise and created a temporary Shrine.
May Her torches guide you wherever you need to go.
Tamrha
Richardson
August 12th,
2024
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