I doubt that what I'm going to write here will do justice to my experience this past Imbolc. It probably won't explain this enough for many people to understand or quite possibly believe. That's said, I'll still write it out as best as I can and should it be unbelievable or even if others disagree with me, at the end of the day that's not my problem. I will ask though that you read this in it's entirety.
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I recall shouting that, or really, I recall Brigid shouting that. I remember the voice echoing through the room that was completely silent yet was quite full of people who'd come to ritual. And I knew I had zero control of what was about to happen.
I was pretty tired at Imbolc but I've been much more tired in the past than I was that night. I'd been awake the day before for 24 hours due to a birth I attended where the baby came in the early hours of February 1st, the day of the ritual. I'd slept for about 4 hours before having to get up in order to get ritual gear packed and my home battened down for me to be gone for hours once again. So, yes. I was a tired High Priestess.
I very much looked forward to ritual. I thought we had a lovely plan and I always love Imbolc (however, anyone who knows me knows that every sabbat becomes 'my favorite'!). Brigid is a goddess close to my heart considering that both my own High Priestess and one of my sister Priestesses are both Hers. She has a special place in my home, the hearth belonging to Her. She helped us get this house and it was part of my promise to Her to make that space hers. So, I really love Brigid.
When our coven planned the ritual a few weeks before, we decided we wanted to bring Brigid in through Trance Prophesy, a technique I've been trained in and have practiced for 18 years. Along with Seidth training, my trance work experience encompasses 20 years. I've taught this technique to my coven and most all of them have been "on the seat" (the term we use for taking the role of the Seer) multiple times. We put all of our names in the pool and let her choose who she'd come through. I got picked.
Over the years, I've brought her through a handful of times. In what I can remember, I recall a strong, loving, wise Lady willing to comfort, to love on, to heal the people who came to Her. I've seen the same thing when others have brought Her through as well. I expected more of the same, especially since this was Her holiday.
That is absolutely not what occurred.
(bouncy goat because bouncy goat)
I've experienced angry or aggravated gods in trance. One of the first times I took the chair in front of a large group was at Harvest Home Gathering in Connecticut with some my teachers, Janet Farrar and Gavin Bone leading the ritual. The Morrigan, Brigid and Freya were all going to come through three Seeresses. I was bringing through Freya, as both Janet and Gavin are Her Priest and Priestess. Straightaway, Freya yelled at the gathering of about 100 people because no one was coming up to talk with Her once She arrived.
"I'M NOT HERE TO TAP DANCE FOR YOU."
That's what came out of my mouth that She was borrowing. I'll never forget it. She was right, really. I mean, if you are going to go to a trance ritual, get your ass up there to talk to the Gods. It's a lot on the seer and don't waste the deity's time. Her scolding got people moving and from there I settled into the back of my mind and let Her work. Typically, I don;t recall much of what goes on.
Another time, in bringing through Apollo at the women's prison one Summer Solstice, I let Him through and suddenly felt the snarl crawl over my face. I panicked for a moment, but ... would you tell Apollo He can't be aggravated? I'm not about to so I got out of the way. And he too was right. The group had spent no time learning His myths, nor learning of His twin after deciding to work with Him and He was irked to be called upon because 'yay it's the Summer Solstice and He's a sun god!' My knowing much about Him wasn't enough and He sure as shit let us all know about it. The following Summer Solstice we called Him through again, having done our homework, and He was mighty pleased. I've never felt like I was levitating out of the seat before, that's how happy He was.
While the above things have happened, 99% of the time, in over 20 years of practice, the gods have been eager and happy to communicate. Considering that not by any means do all groups do this work, They seem to relish getting to talk through a trained seer. So here we were on Her holiday, expecting the Goddess of the Forge and the Well, Goddess of Bards and Poets, the Warrior, the mighty Brigid to come through.
I did not at all expect Her to come though so upset, so angry, highly annoyed and with very little patience. But that is exactly what happened.
I did not at all expect Her to come though so upset, so angry, highly annoyed and with very little patience. But that is exactly what happened.
As stated above, I don't much recall what goes on when I'm on the seat most times. I'm not completely gone, but details are fuzzy and I don't remember exactly what's said by both the participants nor the particular deity coming through. This time, while things are still fuzzy, I do recall Her extreme emotions. I recall screaming. I recall crying a Goddess's tears and feeling Her complete frustration.
"You do not listen. You just don't listen."
I remember Her crying that.
I recall Her annoyance to be brought into circle to be asked "the same questions, and told the same things." I recall Her saying that we'd work with her today because it's Imbolc but that so many would put Her back up on the shelf until next Imbolc not paying Her much mind.
All this said, She understood that we meant well. That we are simply human. And that She does love us. But this Imbolc, it seems she had few fucks to give.
I've struggled a lot with what happened, not because I think that everything in Witchcraft needs to be happy and fun and safe. Because I honestly don't. I don't even want it to be. I've struggled with it because I didn't expect it and I know that for some people it was probably very startling, and possibly upsetting. I've also struggled because I've been left with the emotions of a goddess that until a day or so later I didn't understand.
On the way to ritual, I mentioned to our Sage that I saw on Facebook the night before that Brexit was official as of 11pm British time, January 31st, which was just the night before. He stated that he'd seen it too but didn't really understand what Brexit was about. I told him that I'm no expert, but I did know that it meant the UK was leaving the European Union and that this causes lots of uncertainty, stress, economic issues regarding trade, security and migration, etc. Scotland wants to stay in the EU and there's Northern Ireland which is on the Irish island but is a piece that's a part of the UK...so a piece of that island won't be in the EU but the rest of it will. Or something like that...?
Our political state here on this side of the pond we share is such a daily cluster-fuck-mess thanks to the man-child in the Oval Office as well as all the soulless officials in the Senate, that there's no real time to fully follow what's happening in another nation (there's a link ahead to get caught up should you want).
I have no idea why I asked him if he'd seen that about Brexit, but the only think I can surmise is that something big was coming down the pike and Brexit was at the core of it. I went researching after the ritual and after talking with my Priestess and sister Priestesses. I went to the Irish Times. Here are some of the headlines...
Keeping the Peace - The Legacy of the Irish Border and how Brexit threatens 20 years of peace
Explore the Border - Crossings mapped: what happened in the Troubles and how they are today
The History of the Border - From Plantation to Brexit: Centuries of conflict to the return of peace
Fractious start to next phase of Brexit shows dangers for Irish economy
Five reasons why banks may not come to Ireland after Brexit
Life in Brexit Britain: The message is clear - fit in or get out
Brexit remains a collective English breakdown
Did you know that the Border (and we are talking the border between Northern Ireland which is a part of the UK and the Republic of Ireland for those who are unsure) had a Twitter account?
The Irish Border signs off Twitter:"It feels like I won the battle but lost the war.'
The anonymous person behind the 2 year old account that had over 100k followers and brought a humorous but very smart and educational voice to the issues regarding the Border and those who live along it. It feels this way because while there will be no hard border again, there's still big problems.
"Brexit is nothing if not ironic. From the beginning I worried that it would open up old divisions in Northern Ireland.
The UK suddenly having a constitutional convulsion, while forgetting that it had a finely balanced constitutional settlement to look after, was terrifying for everyone who has a memory of how we got to the Belfast Agreement and all that preceded it."
All that preceded it was war and death and bombings and division. Remember when U2 and Bono sang about a Bloody Sunday?
This is Brigid's homeland. These are Brigid's people. This is a collective conscious issue.
It's not just about Ireland of course. The very name 'Britain' comes from... Brigid.
From Druidy.org
"The name ‘Britain’ is a derivation of Brigit’s name. Britain was named for an ancient Celtic tribe, the Brigantes, who worshipped Brigit and were the largest Celtic tribe to occupy the British Isles in pre-Roman times. The tribe originally came from the area that is now Bregenz in Austria near Lake Constance. The word ‘brigand’ comes from this tribe of fierce warriors.
Her worship probably spread from the Continent, leaving place names behind, such as Brittany in France. Brigit place names are found in Brechin, Scotland, the river Brent in England, the river Braint in Wales, Bridewell in Ireland. Even London has a Bridewell.
The symbol of Britain – the Goddess Brigantia or Britannia, (still found on their fifty pence coin) is Brigid in her aspect as Goddess of Sovereignty or Guardian of the Land."
So, at the start of Imbolc, because the fire festivals began at sundown the night before, lands sacred to Brigid and beloved by Brigid were officially out of the EU beginning it's 11 month course of figuring out how it will relate to the bloc of countries in the EU. This, according to the NY Times will determine Britain's place in the world for decades to come.
52% of Britons who voted, voted Leave. That means the rest of the voters voted Remain. Remember the day after our 2016 election? Remember that feeling? Yeah.
(because I need to find slight humor)
It was Imbolc weekend and many covens, groups, ritual gatherings were honoring this particular Goddess. As I wrote earlier, not every group works with trance techniques the way Novices covens do. To honor a Goddess and evoke Her presence is vastly different than bringing Her in through Trance. I'm not about to suggest that any other group that did perform trance work got the same Brigid. We just happened to tap into that particular current, a current of an upset Goddess worried about her place of origin and the people that live there. She didn't have that many fucks to give about our problems, as real as they are. She's got the problems of millions on Her hands.
I know there's definitely been times where people have needed me in my role as an ordained High Priestess and I've had my own problems to deal with which may have resulted in me getting snappy. I'm going to bet that you can think of a time or two, or ten, where you've reacted this way as well in your own lives. We lash out, vent, and then deal with what's been brought to us. So did She.
As I sat here and did this research, I understood more of what occurred. I've asked myself why She didn't just let the Dagda visit with us if She was in such a bad place...but then I've thought about times that I'm wicked upset and how good it feels to vent. She vented. I hope that in some ways it helped Her.
We had a lot of new people at this ritual. By new I mean new to Novices. I loved looking out in our ritual prep and seeing those new faces. I do wish that I'd thought to really get more into explaining trance work and what one should do and what one should not do.
Kids... don't fucking argue with the gods. I am still really surprised with how many people did just that. A conversation is one thing. Arguing is another. Do you argue with your Tarot adviser? Your Rune Reader? Bone Thrower? If you do, you really shouldn't. And seriously, don't argue with a Goddess in a trance ritual.
#1 - it's disrespectful.
In Ancient Delphi, the place of the Pythia who was the oracle first for Gaia and later for Apollo, one of the messages on the way into the temple read Know Thyself. We are not talking 'know thyself' in our modern, soul searching, self-realization kind of way. That's not how they meant it. They meant "Hey. You. You are about to enter a sacred place and talk to an oracle. Know Your Place."
#2 - it's really taxing on the person who's lending their physical body to that deity.
I've never had to work that hard on the seat. Ever. While I can't exactly recall exactly what was said back to people, the arguing and talking over the Goddess by so many kept me less in the background as usual and doing some serious heavy lifting to keep the 'lines' open. Trance is already heavy lifting.
Ask your questions. Listen for your answers. Answer any questions they ask you and then thank them. Recall manners? Remember what you've been told and consider it as you would any divination results you'd use to determine your way forward.
I don't think I want to even get started on the few who attempted to riddle her with trick questions and skepticism. You have every right to your skepticism. Keep it in the circle and don't take it up to the seat. It won't go well for you.
This blog isn't an excuse as to what occurred, but my sharing what I've discovered as I try to understand it all. It took me about two days to stop feeling as if I wanted to lay down and just have a good cry. All I can say is that the remnants of trance work affect a seer. Gods can leave their "emotional scents" behind.
For those that attended, it's up to you to decide how to see all this. So far, I've had better feedback than I expected. I'm glad for that. For those that left with negative thoughts or perceptions, that's okay too. You get to make your own determinations. However, remember that until you yourself take the seat, make the descent and work this trance technique, your criticisms are lacking a big, big piece of the puzzle.
Offer the Lady a candle, a Guinness, a bowl of soup or a bottle of whiskey. Or all those things. Or something completely different. It's still Her season. I think She needs it and would greatly appreciate it.
Blessed Imbolc.
Tamrha
PS.. For those into podcasts, we just started one on Anchor!
https://anchor.fm/hoof-and-horn
PS.. For those into podcasts, we just started one on Anchor!
https://anchor.fm/hoof-and-horn
